The Compassion Project
Whether we realize it or not, our woundedness, or how we cope with it, dictates much of our behavior, shapes our social habits, and informs our ways of thinking about the world. Gabor Mate
Our modern world is full of transactional relations that often require us to live on the surface of life. Based on my experience with society, it occurs as if it wants us to live this way, focusing outward, living for what others want for us, or even making others' lives more compelling than ours, being at the effect of what others are doing or not doing, forgetting who you are and what you are meant to be in this world.
One of the things that I am noticing more and more, and quite frankly, it isn't 'new' but feels deeply held by culture, is that if I can control {myself, my spouse, my kids, my job, and what is happening in the world around me}, I will be safe.
Suppose you were to look at the overall population of how people live and what is happening in the world around us. In that case, feeling safe in this world has become a privilege. As I sit in my studio on Whidbey Island, I feel free not to be stepping over people without housing, having enough food, having access to mental health, and more.
Yet I find over and over that one of the reasons we so desperately cling to control is because we do not have safety inside of us, and we do not need to be without food, shelter, and access to lives many privileges, not to feel safe. Our bodies and nervous system have been re-wired over the last few years not to feel safe - which has riddled our world with divisiveness and lacking Compassion.
More than ever, we need more Compassion in our lives.
Compassion is the key to a kinder life; knowing how to use it with yourself and others allows for deeper connections.
Our world is divided - internally, we become separated, which means we need more daily practice of Compassion.
How do we create self-healing or self-compassion when our world pulls, triggers, hurts, and divides us?
Compassion allows us to see our pain and tell the truth about it.
Compassion, at its most basic level, allows others to tell the truth about themselves without judging them.
I have been studying Compassion for some time and am present to how it has changed me. Compassion was not something that came quickly to me; rather opposite; being raised never to give up, never give in, and you must win at all costs was the subtle message in my home growing up; along with chaos and stress, there wasn't much room for Compassion.
I understood Compassion deeper after watching my children struggle and deepening my understanding of myself and others, and now I know the depths of its healing mechanics.
To have Compassion, we must first practice understanding its impact, AND we must start with ourselves to have Compassion for others.
Our Modern society has developed faster than our ability as a species to evolve and respond to it, and so we are under nearly constant stress.
Stress inhibits our ability to respond compassionately and reduces our natural tendency towards this compassionate state.
Compassion is essential to human connection and for building relationships and community.
Today, we have a chronic release of low levels of hormones or proteins harmful to our health.
Our nervous system was not meant to be chronically triggered.
One of the most significant causes of a variety of illnesses is the release of inflammatory proteins released in response to stress; from that, it is also the result of a decrease in the function or ability of our immune system to respond to threats, which is why we have an epidemic of stress, anxiety, and depression.
Unfortunately, this is why we jump to judgments and reactions about others or experiences, which decreases our chance of Compassion for ourselves and others.
Acting with compassionate intention substantially positively affects our physiology; it pulls us out of the threat mode, puts us into the rest and digest mode, and changes how we respond to events and experiences that could create more stress.
Each of us innately has an immense ability within ourselves to shine the light of Compassion on others which will allow us to manifest our understanding for others and ourselves.
Allowing ourselves Compassion, accepting ourselves for who we are, where and what our circumstances are, and believing and knowing that we all deserve love, kindness, and care. Once we understand that everyone has a story and their experiences shape their nervous system, physiology, and brain, we can begin to find Compassion.
Having Compassion changes our brain
Researchers wanted to see what kind of impact compassion training had on the brain. Using {MRI} before and after a training exercise, researchers could see how Compassion influenced brain activity.
They observed that those who participated were more likely to be altruistic after the compassion training had increased brain activity in the inferior parietal cortex, associated with empathy and understanding for others.
Like neuroplasticity, our brains can be molded if practiced.
Compassion practices support your parasympathetic nervous system and help you become calmer and more relaxed, as well as your brain functions at its best, AND your heart rate goes down, and your immune system becomes robust.
The truth is "it's not that we don't have compassion; it's that something is blocking it."
Love is who we are, and we need to see what is the way of having it.
When you find yourself not feeling Compassion
Ask yourself.
"What is my pain?"
The Compassion Project
is dear to my heart; one that starts with ourselves; and leaks into our community; when we begin to have compassion for ourselves, we can dare to be compassionate toward others; my desire is to have more compassion as a community, and I need your support. I see my community as all the parts of the places that my heart touches, and I would love for you to do the same.
Think of a situation in your life that is difficult and causes you stress.
Notice this moment is a moment of suffering. Anytime we can acknowledge what we are in at the moment is 'mindfulness.'
Suffering is a part of life, which is common humanity.
Put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest.
Say to yourself:
I'm kind to myself.
Ask yourself, "What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?" Is there a phrase that speaks to you in your particular situation, such as:
May I give myself the Compassion that I need
May I learn to accept myself as I am
May I forgive myself
May I be strong
May I be patient with myself
I am sending you Compassion today and every day.
Much Love, Jenn